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<title>I just ran out of people to kill by Nayri5</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27022459">I just ran out of people to kill</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nayri5/pseuds/Nayri5'>Nayri5</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Last Resort (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Friendship, Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 16:27:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>905</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27022459</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nayri5/pseuds/Nayri5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Right after Damn the Torpedoes, because  Shepard and King finally showed they can talk in a civilized manner, at least sometimes.<br/>English is not my native language, so sorry for all the mistakes (if anyone would even read it so many years after the show cancellation).<br/>And I know that this show is dead for centuries now, but I just finished watching it one more time and I can’t accept it was killed so fast. And, in my inagination, I just had to give them at least this one civil talk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James King/Grace Shepard</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I just ran out of people to kill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was late, the sun was already below the horizon. Lieutenant Grace Shepard was sitting on the beach, looking at the darkness covering the ocean ahead of her. She kept some distance from the port, so all the noises were just background shadows. It was calm and quiet, and the sound of the waves was overwhelming.</p>
<p>Shepard put her arms on her knees and rested her head on her armbands. She was tired, but happy. It was a good day, after all. They were able to resolve the imminent threat without killing anyone. Captain didn’t exactly thank her, but she understood that. After all, she belayed his order. She did it for him even more than for herself, but still… She understood. Since all of this shit happened, since they received orders to launch nukes on Pakistan, she understood a lot more than in the life before. But today - today was a good day. They actually made a difference, saved lives. </p>
<p>She closed her eyes, tried not to think and to lose herself in the sound of the waves coming at the beach. She didn’t hear him coming. She just realized she isn’t alone anymore, when he was already sitting on the sand, next to her.<br/>
“Thank you.” Petty Officer James King said in his soft voice.<br/>
She raised her head and looked at him. “For what?”<br/>
“For today. For the chance to… not to kill anyone. Save people. It felt… good.” He gave her a bottle of beer. He was already sipping the other one.<br/>
She hesitated. “I’m on duty.”<br/>
“You’re <em>always</em> on duty. Keep doing that and it <em>will</em> destroy you.”<br/>
She turned her head to look at him, but his eyes were fixed on the darkness in front of them.<br/>
“How do you… how do you copy with all this?” She asked.<br/>
This time he looked at her and their eyes locked. “You already know the best way.”</p>
<p>She remembered the heat of his body lying on top of her, and below her. Their passionate kisses and the moment when they connected deep inside her. The relief she felt, when all the tension and desire, fear and anger were released. She broke the eye contact, slightly shifted her position and started to drink her beer.<br/>
“Is it always like that?”<br/>
Somehow he knew exactly what was she asking about.<br/>
“How should I know? I never met a woman like you before.” His voice was calm and steady. Honest.</p>
<p>She remembered the look in his eyes, when he touched her loose hair. The tension that arose between them and the passion they shared that night on the beach.<br/>
<em>Please, don’t do that,</em> she thought. <em>I can’t handle that. Not now, not here.</em> And, somehow, he understood. They sat in silence, drinking beers, listening to the sound of the waves.<br/>
“Drinking helps.” He said finally.<br/>
“Is it, really?” She asked, sadness in her voice. “I heard you, back at the bar.”<br/>
“When?”<br/>
“After the SPECNAZ encounter. I heard you saying you didn’t make peace. That you…”<br/>
“I just ran out of people to kill…” His voice became hollow.<br/>
“Yeah… When it all started and we were taking the NATO observation post here, on the island… Two of my crew sabotaged the power grid, cutting us off. We thought it was some kind of malfunction, so Kendal and Sophie went to the basement to fix it. But it was a sabotage. And Stern… Stern was holding a gun, pointing it at XO. He was going to shoot. He was going to kill Sam and Sophie. So I shot him. From behind. We lived on the same boat… I knew him… and yet, I shot him, just like that. I see his face in my sleep, but I would’ve done it again, if I had to.”<br/>
“You did it to save Sam and Sophie.” He said.<br/>
“Yes. That’s the point, isn’t it? When you kill, you do it not to kill, but to actually save lives. To save innocent or defenseless people. That’s what you do. That’s who you are. Who we are.”<br/>
“Much time has passed since I thought about it that way.”<br/>
“Maybe you should start thinking that way all over again? Maybe it would help you decide, or realize, who you are and who you wanna be?<br/>
“We did it, Grace. Me and Hop. We started all of this. Those nukes launched on Pakistan… it’s my fault.”<br/>
“No, it isn't. You did not launch them, nor gave such an order. You were used the same way we were.”<br/>
“But your CO and your XO refused to follow orders.” <br/>
“That day, at the conn… I would’ve turned that key, if XO told me to. What does it make me then?”<br/>
“The person you are now. Lieutenant Grace Shepard. Someone worth following in all this shit.”</p>
<p>Once again, they sat in silence, looking at the darkness in front of them. Then he stood up and extended his hand to her.<br/>
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go.”<br/>
“Let’s go where?”<br/>
“To the ocean. Swimming.” He was grinning.<br/>
Their eyes locked again, as she accepted his help and slowly stood up. <br/>
“I promise I will be civil and won’t jump at you, Grace.”<br/>
Their eyes locked once again. She saw the desire burning in his eyes. She recognized it, because she felt the same way. <em>It’s not you, whose actions I’m afraid of,</em> she thought. <em>It’s me.</em></p>
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